The Cards Never Lie

The High Priestess – Reversed

Major Arcana

Reconnect | Neglect* | Secrets

When asked about childhood,

I’m always unsure on how to answer.

But I know one thing,

What I went through was not my fault.

I suppose that the memories of what took place there no longer matter.

I’m supposed to keep moving forward,

Or at least that’s what Meet the Robinsons told me to do.

I think that’s why I took my own father to court

I can’t move forward if I’m trapped in the past.

Three of Swords – Upright

Minor Arcana

Heartbreak* | Rejection | Pain

The judicial process is rigged.

I know because my case should not have been taken.

I am overly privileged and white.

It’s sad that that’s how I escaped my childhood home.

No matter how, I supposed all that mattered was that I was out.

I have years of trauma that refused to be erased,

Like permanent marker on a white board.

No matter how hard I scrub and wipe and pray that it’ll leave me alone,

It’s hold on me causes me to laugh instead of cry when going to therapy.

The Hermit– Upright

Major Arcana

Soul-Searching* | Reflection | Truth

For the next two years,

My father texted me twice a week.

He would guilt me into coming to visit my siblings,

Inevitably, I’d end up standing in front of the kitchen sink for the next three hours.

He’d tell me that I was welcome to visit anytime, but it never truly felt like it.

I called my stepmom a bitch before the court case,

That’s when the welcoming smiles of my family stopped.

That day tortures me, more than anything my father ever said.

I wouldn’t take it back, it was deserved, but the memory was burned into my skull.

Ace of Cups – Reversed

Minor Arcana

Release | Emotional Exhaustion* | Repression

I left when I was sixteen,

And yet I still find myself thinking that maybe something could have been different.

Deep down, I know that no matter what I did,

Nothing would have change.

My father had made his choice of who he wanted, and it was not his daughter.

There is something ironic about my sharing my trauma

A stranger would ask, and I’d hold nothing back

But if my therapist does, I’d laugh and move on.

Talking about it professionally makes it too real.

Two of Wands – Upright

Minor Arcana

Advance | Explore | Prospects*

I’m twenty years old now,

But I’m still trying to make up for lost time.

My friends do not understand when I ask to go to the trampoline park or Chuck E’ Cheese.

They say that they are for kids.

It’s fruitless to explain that that’s exactly the point so I let the conversation move on.

There are some days that are better than others.

The bad days leave me incapacitated in my bed.

The good days turn into better days

And soon the better days turn into my best days.

It’s a journey, but it’s a journey I’m willing to embark on.